Inner Conflict

Today is the last Wednesday I have at home with the kids. I am having a WONDERFUL day with them. They napped well and all at the same time, and we had a play-date with a friend of mine and her two little ones.

I made the decision on my own to go back to work on Wednesdays after I came to a point where I just can't get all my work done in 4 days. The four days I did have at work were so stress filled and frantic and that feeling was hard to shed the day I was at home because I knew all my work was waiting for me, and compiling.

My heart is at home with my children, growing up I always saw myself as a stay at home mom and now that I am a mother, unfortunately that is not my reality. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for sympathy or trying to play the poor me card... I am so blessed with a wonderful husband, awesome children, an incredible family, a beautiful home, a good career and the list goes on. But my #1 prayer remains right now to be "God, I want to be home with my children, please show me a way."

I am nervous about how working 5-6 days a week (I work some Saturdays) will affect my ability to maintain my home and how I will feel about my lack of time with my kids. I am nervous that I will lose the life balance I feel like I was getting pretty good at.

If you think about me, please pray for me.

On another note... My 2010 goals have been going pretty good. I have many goals but one specific one was to lose weight, so far I am down 8 pounds! YEAH,

Cheers,
Beth